you're that door that I never opened

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO
AND FUCK YOUR REAL GIRLFRIEND.
but not really

not really like I ever needed you in my life,
so get out

Not really.


Not really,
God, please don't go,
I didn't mean that,
don't you dare start walking out
that door
god, please don't start locking
yourself away from me
the key is turning
and my head is spinning
that golden piece of metal
just shut you out
shut me out
of my daydreams
now it's just this nightmare
fashioned out of antique
hand-me-downs
it's almost nostalgic when I think of
how my head crashed against the window
how shattered glass cradled my neck
like a baby
and my screams echoed like the
last call whistles at the station
my train is leaving
on railroads shoddily built,
but my ticket isn't good for two

so I'll just go on and ride alone

but God, please don't go ...
I need you in my life,
please stop turning away
I'll hang onto your
every last word
like that one time I clung to your sleeve
and refused to let go until you kissed me

you never did


and and and
god please don't go
I'm shouting at you through my door
this stainless steel commodity
or was it just a commode
you flushed me out of your life
and I was left without one
see you're a part of me
darlin'
the same way that the
scars you cut in my thighs
are part of me
those four letter love notes
you wrote screaming
at the top of your lungs
are part of me

cause honey
we're like fire and ice

I can't melt without your touch
and every time I see you again
I self destruct
until you turn away
and it's cold
and I'm cold
and we're both lying
next to each other

but I hope you're happy
that we finally fucked
our fluids don't belong together
my thighs are protestin'
and now I'm achin' inside
my body was collateral damage
in the war between you and your self esteem
another casualty you turned into a
statistic in an attempt to boost your self worth

and I told you once
I told you so many times
you're not the one for me
see honey, I don't love you
cause putting out just to see the
light in your eyes one last time is silly
begging you to stay one more night
is beneath my standards
and I want to keep what little self esteem
I have left


that was just a lie
but you ... you promised,

yet she's on her knees
and you're screaming at me

and you have any idea
how much I died inside
when I walked through that door

and you told me to get the fuck out