charlie

You once said that my words were volatile to you
Not volatile in the sense that I am
Explosive, or expressive, or overly emotional
But evanescent, like a puff of smoke
And I thought it was funny that my words were so unique
You had to create a new definition that didn’t exist before for a word that had one
Volatile
That my words were volatile to you

But perhaps I’m dwelling too much on the little things,
Like your pseudo-intellectualism
Or the way you nuzzled my neck so gently
The way you found yourself wanting to see me
Because it's funny how you hold claims to chivalry
In your left hand and hypocrisy in your right
I can still hear your boots clicking down the hallway
But my cowboy rode into the sunset without me
And there will be no knight in shining armor in the morning


Volatile,
You call me volatile,
Overly explosive, or expressive, or emotional
Overly melodramatic or even mediocre,
And I have no justification for the things I feel
Because I missed the memo you sent out about logic overriding emotional impulses
Forgot to forward the email notification that you've never cared for any of my poetry

So peel back the layers you never bothered to deconstruct
Because you’re hidden between the lines that I wrote up
That you can antagonize yourself trying to decipher my words but ignore
The meticulously crafted multi-faceted and maybe even malicious
Three minute love letters to you that you’ve never bothered to read
These volatile expressions of emotion that you never bothered to find out existed

And I am colloquial and I am complicated
I am refined and I am un-adultered
I am that conquest you brag about hooking up with last night
Or maybe one of those that you have to cover up

Because I’m naive and I’m too young to understand
The complexities of the world that you tell me about
But don’t get me wrong, I am most definitely well-cultured
because I can recite John Donne from the back of my head

And I am melodramatic and over-emphatic and too much for you to handle
And I can spend hours and days and weeks
Listing off all the different traits I am
But my words will never be the definition you attributed to them wrongly,
Evanescent, or momentary, or transitory
Volatile