Marshall

I have moments where I wonder
who you are to question God's will
as if I am some omnipotent interpreter
of the way our tongues spoke a foreign language
since I haven't been held like that in over a year;
but I find a hint of nostalgia
in how you shattered my self worth
the same way he did

because I spent the weekend
preaching on false-lye soapboxes
trying my best to make sense of
accidental miscommunication
turned deception, and perhaps
I am wrongly denigrating you,
but I am losing the willpower
to fight against your professed truths

so I will self medicate on despair and opiates
as if I could prescribe myself a mental escape
from this misery because I have learned
in the past, that if I mix equal parts
hydrocodone, heartbreak, and alcohol,
sometimes, I can finally summon the strength
to stop struggling against loneliness