midnight yell

You terrify me. I have nights now where I find myself pacing
the newly minted gravel road that is so meticulously lined with concrete
and the souls of fallen stacks and angels it makes me wonder
if I can burn a portal to my hometown in the backs of my corneas.

There is a burning desire that lies deep within my heart for tradition,
but I find the struggle upwards towards my faith in people
slipping on the edges of fallacies that lie in my path like good intentions.

I showed up at dark thirty and wrapped the midnight sky around your wariness,
but I remain suspicious of your claims about your lack of emotion
because I have spent my life shedding away disloyalty
and wearing the scars of abandonment on my fingers
like gold rings symbolizing camaraderie.

That night, the field was too bright to register coherent thought,
so I dragged my heels along the yard lines & curled my toes in the grass,
hoping for a moment of darkness when I would become brave enough
to close my eyes. My throat ached from yelling so loudly to calm my nerves.

I remember how terrified I was when you swept me off my feet so quickly
the battle fatigued me, but I found it impossible to camouflage the sparkle
in your icy-blue-moon-stony eyes that left me so breathless my heart forgot how to hurt.

Ever since your lips grazed my apprehension,
I have found myself constantly worrying that I am better off waking up alone,
but you carved insomnia so deeply into my cerebral cortex
that daylight has lost its context in the natural rhythm of my life.

Nowadays, I find that he thought of you grasps the aura of my soul firmly,
leaving the scar of your talon. Twelve hours ago, we encased ourselves
in between red bricks and locked lives like mouths that knew better than to ask
the alchemy of our chemistry to clip the wings of destiny,
and so all I can do now is learn how to fly on my own.