thompsons

In a lot of ways, I resent my ability to pick out scent like a hound
because I have moments when I pass by your cologne
and it knocks the wind straight out of me, but I figured I had developed
enough willpower to resist the urge to fall for another one of you again.

There are moments when I can recall the way your heels
clicked against the tile when you paced the hallway in your boots,
and the noise resounded against floorboards and echoed
in slapboards hanging on the ceilings, but I have learned
from my experience with ladykillers, and nowadays, I am wise enough
to avoid your red brick walls that still sting me with a vengeance.

I remember promises of semper fi and silver linings that gently caressed
the sides of commissions, but your second coming never arrived
because when I tried to remain always loyal, I found that seizing opportunities
ended up closing doors and shattering windows for me.

One night in particular, you bled red, white, and blue
and drew the edges of our intertwined mouths,
but I will never forget waking up
crunching glass between my teeth.

Recently, I found that your shadow lies closer to 12 than 7,
and I have had enough of Pyrrhic battlefields, because combat fatigues me,
but your namesake haunts my memories like a calling duty simply cannot forsake.
I found his engraved nameplate and traced your last name
over my inability to trust a new beginning with an old memory.
Even now, I can't help but be leery of mistakes I have made in the past
digging their talons into my soul and overshadowing my aura.

He stalked towards me amidst a crowd of desperate, reverent lighters
and cell phones in the background, and twirled me around his finger so easily
that I didn't have time to recover from the realization of vertigo.

I fell deep into naivete and wondered if royal blues
could whisk me away into skies that painted themselves sapphire
with the optimism of doe eyed pupils. I spun around like
all I could do was hold on for dear life during a nose dive,
but there was no bald eagle to catch me just in time before I hit the ground.

However, I find myself fortunate enough to have stared into
icy blue moon-stone irises that seemed, for once, more apprehensive
about me than I am able to be about my own insecurities.